October 23, 2015

LFW SNAPS by Abiola Renee

Photos shot by @abiolarenee. When I met her, she just gave me that instant love. 
Abiola, of who she is and what she captures, is one of the reasons why I love London. 
To have met you makes my heart so happy!
Hope you reach GREATER heights! (you got it all goin giiiiirlll!!!!)

Deets: Vintage bomber jacket from a thrift shop / Zara turtleneck / Lovisa necklace / Topshop jeans / Adidas originals brewery pack / Miista backpack


October 10, 2015

Dazed x Balmain: Short Video!

Its definitely a non-professional, RAW video. I was very IN the MOMENT.
So heres a short clip of the bits that I had!


Dazed & Confused Magazine x Balmain : THE PROCESS

28th of October: Took my 5 hours to write the caption

I remember scrolling pass the post, I thought to myself "Oh this is so cool! Impossible though but God, i love Balmain", swipes finger. Later that day, my friend, Shakira Said told me to just go for it, you'll never know, maybe its your luck. I finished class at 12.30 and went straight to my uni's IT room to finish up some work.

1.30PM: i am hungry, but lets do the Balmain contest and ill permit myself to leave. So I started brainstorming, I read DAZED's post religiously for more than 3 times atleast just to understand what this contest is all about and wrote down Olivier's quotes that I adore. Then I started to find connections between me and Balmain which lead to making a rough tester. Just to get a headstart and an angle I want to project my answer with.

You know the computer working chair that goes up and down round and round, I just sat in that, swirling and thinking, looking at the words on paper, refining my description of Balmain. I think PRISM was the groundbreaking point. Everything fitted into place from there. It was a constant thinking process till i felt satisfied and an EXACT translation of my thoughts and emotions into words.

I finished by 6.30pm in a proud state. To a point where these were beautiful written words, dont care if I don't win, THIS DESERVES TO BE OUT THERE NEVERTHELESS.


29th of October
Checks the dazed website again, it says they announce on Tuesday right? yessssss..but..they haven't announced. Hmm probably they already have contacted the winner. Still proud of what I put out there. Coolies.

30th of October
At 12pm, class just ended and I was packing my bags, my phone was in my back pocket and it went tiiing! Wasnt in a rush to pull it out or anything but before I put my jacket on, decided to give it a check.

@Dazedmagazine commented: Please check your DMs! x

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP NO NO. THIS CANT BE HAPPENING. I became an instant jelly and I couldnt feel my legs, my bum kissed the floor and there I was on the cold hard ground, shaking. Placed my hand on my mouth to stop a scream from escaping.

After I read the DM I cried. Literally. It was so shocking, too DIFFICULT to process, like exactly how do you tell yourself your flying to paris in less than 12 hours for BALMAIN.


It didnt feel real at ALL. Not a little bit. Called my mum to tell her the news, and to even tell her the news was hard to say because my brain zoned out. These words were unbelievable. It didnt sound real coming from my mouth. It's not real. When nobody was passing in the hallway I just made little jumps of spasm of WHAT WHAT HOLYCRAP WHAT. OMG. OMG
 Called my sister to tell her I'm taking her with me and she calmly replied "I dont understand what your saying but I heard paris so oookay"

I skipped back home from the tube at 4PM, opened my door, and let out caaan youu believeeee were going to parisssss!!!!! She went, what did you win again?  
She stood up put her hands on her head, NO WAY. IT CANT BE, ITS STILL MILAN FASHION WEEK NO.
I went, YES!! and we went into this phase of trying to process the impossible with mini shrieking in between and a constant repetition of the phrase "is this real are u sure this is real".
My sister: wont believe till the tickets are printed out. thats when maybe, i can believe a little. Then we just spent the night choosing our outfits and hyperventilating till we were exhausted.

lots of fullstops, commas, capital letters, deliberately to give you the jumpy short of breath kinda feel
xx Anisah

Dazed & Confused Magazine x Balmain : Paris, The Show & Meeting Olivier Rousteing.


May 07, 2015

note to self.

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy,
a quickening that is translated through you into action,
and because there is only one of you in all of time,
this expression is unique.
And if you block it,
it will never exist through any other medium
and it will be lost.
The world will not have it.
It is not your business to determine how good it is
nor how valuable
nor how it compares with other expressions.
It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly,
to keep the channel open.
You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work.
You have to keep yourself open and aware
to the urges that motivate you.
Keep the channel open. …
No artist is pleased.
There is no satisfaction or whatever at any time.
There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest that keeps us marching
and makes us more alive than the others!!! 

- Martha graham

May 02, 2015

Don't be afraid of failure.

Amongst my friends and to some people who have known me for years or have been following me for sometime, may know me that I am capable to do an interview because i do love doing them, or generally a talking kinda thing. It is what Pinkdurian portrays anyway, to be confident and you may assume, I always possess that composure at anything i face. But I legitimately screwed an interview. When I say screw, I mean by I regret every single word, literally feel deep in my heart that I've done better, could not process my thoughts instantly and the answer's I've been preparing could not exit my mouth. Which equals to not having confidence

It was a second phase interview for a university I wanted, not going to go into details. But basically what happened was the worst.
The interviewer, I'll name him Mr. Rick, was just asking basic questions like "what's your ambition", "why you wanna do this course" yada yada. I honestly just froze, I've been preparing for this interview for quite a long time. So during the interview (it was about a one hour interview), I just mumbled words, could not finish a sentence (Like saying bits by bits, not really making sense), not giving a CLEAR definitive answer and as I knew this was going downslope, I broke down slightly suddenly and kept apologising. (YES TEARS IN AN INTERVIEW, now I seem like begging instead of being well composed of myself). But Mr.Rick was like "never say sorry, tears show that this is important to you, it's beautiful to be passionate". I quickly took deep breaths and went on talking about my ambitions and suggested things I want to contribute to the industry and society. Then after the whole emotional shabang, Mr. Rick played pshyco with me, I know he wanted to actually just test me if I stand in what I believe in and if I have individuality, I passed that though (thank God) cause I kept backfiring him, disagreeing with him and being firm with my statement. I got in, but not the course I targeted. Though I have faith in Mr. Rick, Im sure he knows what's best for me.

To this day, I talk to myself saying all the things I should've said. I wish I was kidding but I am not. Practicing over and over again for nothing, for my own satisfaction. Although its crazy. In the shower, laying down on my bed, when I'm alone, I practice giving the answers I was supposed to say. This my friend, is regret. You know if you're depressed you watch a chicflick, go crazy for candy or like go out with friends? This is what I do when I know I wasn't confident.

However, failure give's me excitement for the next failure ill encounter. I know now that the next failure I go through, will be a smaller degree than this. Meaning like, ill face the failure easier. That comforts me a little. And having a short getaway to London and Prague cheered me up and gave me inspiration to keep going. It's hard to accept that you failed at something you were so prepared for. Im not always confident in the moment, but I definitely become even more confident getting out from something like this.

When I was depressed about this, I went all berzerk and was filled with jealousy to the people who got through. Like I ask myself, "why I'm not them?".  Something like, why did she get straight A's, and I got only 4. Then I realise, I'm not supposed to be them,  I'm not supposed to degrade myself at all. I own myself, I get to choose what my mind thinks, and I should think that, I need focus to be better next time around. That is the MAXIMUM you can do. Don't let failure define you. All it takes is, don't let your mind be clouded by negativity, THAT IS FREAKING ALL.

I'm writing this post because it gives me the feeling of being real to myself. I don't want to show that I'm always trying to radiate confidence in the form of achievements. I want you to know I fail too. You go through this too. Going through failure is confidence. Learn the mistakes and do things differently because, if you do something differently, you'll get a different outcome. I know it's a hard phase to break that depressing wall and become better. Cause sometimes you're scared to try again, let yourself be excited to the next failure instead of being scared. Be fearless. The way I say it may sound like its easy, I know it is NOT! You can read inspirational quotes and stories as much as you want, it helps a whole lot, but in the end know that it is YOU that is stopping YOURSELF to breakthrough whatever you need to overcome. Know that when you breakfree, you are moving towards something BIGGER.

and also, believe in God's plans.

much love,


April 25, 2015

Miista Pop-up Store @ Redchurch Street Launch Party!

EXCITING. This is exciting. I want you to start reading this feeling exhilarated. Hence, the word Exciting!

I have been a fan of Miista ever since coming across their lookbook in 2013 but started to purchase in 2014 because im very particular about sizing, so I had to go all the way to Singapore to a shop called P.V.S and tried Miista shoes there. Thats the only shop that carries Miista in southeast asia. I've been loyal to Miista to this date and it isnt just because I love shoes, but its the whole package. At first I fell inlove with the muse Miista brings to a shoe, the team behind the company and how they stay intimate without being intimate, like your apart of the team, like buddies. and its quite a big network, growing by day. Read my featured interview here. It was my first ever.

Initially, I had planned to dropby Miista whilst in London to give some gifts as they've been so kind to me for the past years, so i went for abit of gift shopping and bought vintage kimono's, a few shawls and the kain batik we wear around the house thingy. By coincidence, I received an invitation in my email to attend their Pop-up Store Launch! Okay wow, I arrived on the 14th and the event was on the 16th! How perfect! On the day, I took the overground to Shoreditch Highstreet and walked just about a block, or less. Just before we thought we missed a street or something...well, a scene like this, you know you're in the right place

I wore this Green Lace Top from My Apparel Zoo, Skirt from Haflins, a Zara coat and with my Virginia Boots in white. (I wore these heeled shoes onto the flight from KL > Dubai > London, just giving an idea on how comfy they are.)
Moving on, I went with my sister who didnt want to have a picture smhhh, she's the more talk to everyone type, and im so glad she came. 1. I prolly get lost. 2. Being malay, at first encounters I was abit timid, in Malaysia its easier because we have things relatable to talk about, but here kind of I don't really know what to say. So my sister lead the talking. Like I was fascinated and didnt know that we can start off a conversation discussing about the weather. Haha maybe because Malaysia has only ONE season, so we never talk about the weather. 

Cassy, Sally and moi

Okay reeeewind. I was walking out of the station and went to the map thing and I bumped into Sally!! ( @embracingsaloua) who wore Miista Patti in Silver, a Miista babe I knew from instagram for quite some time! I was supposed to meet her at the event but we ended up going together! She has the warmest smile and laughs all around, quite sure she's made of sunshine. Then mid way, Cassy ( @cassybhairo from BangTheBlitz blog) joined us! She wore Miista Kloe in Fruity print (which is on my list, so jealous!). Her graphic skills are on point and super cool, all you need to know is on her blog! Lovely genuine ladies!

Ok soo many people turned up! Of all kinds uniting because of Miista! It was really happening. Like I felt so tiny. Though I actually like the small cute space, it makes sure everyone bumps into everyone! Us four looked around at the pop-up store, telling each other our want list...i love that one..gotta have these...definitely getting those next..haha. I am truly proud of Miista having a physical store now, even for awhile. It's really different from ordering online and you know going to a shop and buying. It's like the feeling you fly to Paris just to visit Chanel on Rue Cambon. That feeling. 

Charlotte & Ella
Oh my god, then I met Ella Hagi (@woogrrl). Okay between us, there mustve been like 100 emails sent. So meeting her in 3-D is a big deal, to me atleast. She's the one who found me! What I mean is i was in the slow process of finding my inner confidence, Miista speeded it up. Wouldn't be here today without her. She gave me a hugee big waaarm hug! We chatted abit then she brought me to meet Laura Villasenin, the Miista founder. I stuttered at saying hey..cause (besides my love for Miista) genuinely i know it's scary to start an own brand in London , against alot of competitors not just domestically but internationally, and being from a smalltown. So meeting this inspring, brave figure to me, that aura, mannn THE AURA MEETING SUCH A THING, darn well you WILL stutter.

Surprisingly, she has a strong Spanish accent! She is such a humble being and very modest too. Dressed in simplicity but with a mind full of wonders and bursting madness. Every single thing Miista produces leaves me with a line of thought, she always achieve to find the balance between a total clash of things. It makes me just want to get into that head!! and Yay!! Ella and Laura loved the gifts i gave!!

Now now, I wouldnt have left empty handed wouldnt I? I picked out these Delilah in Blue and Pink. I was torn between the Karlee, but settled for this one because it was love at first sight. Something I've never had or seen anything like it before, that colour contrast galore. (Note: usually I'm a 38 in all styles but these were abit tight infront so I switched to a 39) Then I got the Honor backpack in mint, which I wanted since it launched! So contented :')

Before leaving, I went around taking photos with all the wonderful people I met! Laura, Sally, Casey, Ella and also Charlotte de Carle! (Which I only realized after the event, oh em gee, I'm a sad pie, I didn't recognize her). But honestly, anyone and everyone here was so so soo down to earth, it was overwhelming. Cause im kinda used to when i enter an event, occasionally, there's that tense of where you-should-know-who's-who. It was an uplifting event, like i dont feel scared going up to a stranger because i liked their socks. A great atmosphere to be in. Truly. An event filled with so many people felt like a round table of five.

(In general)
There were people I saw who I kinda knew they were somebody but its nice and mysterious you meet that person for the first time and didn't know who they were. The conversation becomes a box of surprises and well for me, yes affirmative I do go feelin a little embarrassed afterwards cause I go like "I met her/him and didn't know who that is?!!" but to come think of it, its a great other way to meet somebody, because if you knew that person via social media/tv, you may have a mindset of who they are without meeting them in real life, hence I feel that meeting someone known for the first time is purely genuine and I get to know that person before giving an instagram impression. This is an important long forgotten value that needs to be back alive. So, to the person of repute treat anybody you come across as if the person is the yummiest macaroni in the world. Be loving and kind. And to the encounter, dont be shy, breathe, think about being as honest as possible rather than ohmygoshflabberbabberohmyy im meeting oh mygosh LIKE OMG and also, keep talking whether or not you have confidence!
 Forget all this if you meet Beyonce though, flip out all the way k.

Thank you for reading! 
The Update-Slower-Than-A-Snail Pinkdurian.


February 28, 2015

Melody Ehsani x Reebok

"Minimalist", ofcoures that entirely plain, faded, black and white kind of square instagram photo with some flowers thrown in pops in your head. Well, this is my interpretation of minimalist. Everyone is different right? Though its not what you imagined, i cant bare going any minimal than this.  (except lazy dressing for college or to go eat maggi goreng mamak). I know i would have so much fun clashing this print, however i decided to dress it up. Its all about the shoe today anyway wink.

Anyway, i anxiously typed my tracking number everyday into the system and everytime i see the same un-updated page, the last update was 13th of february. Also contributing to my anxiousness that i might even pin a needle through my brain, hi mum if your reading this, this will show up on the credit bill and yes i know you'll start screaming, i know you'll stop here and start stomping to my room. *finds a cute kitten so she might look at the kitten and forget about me*

The package arrived yesterday.

Melody Ehsani. I crossed her brand on instagram, and i was hooked instantly. I just felt related. She could express all the words i could never express but always wanted to and plus developing into art, her art. In forms of fashion, jewelry and graphic. I stalked, took notes, learnt and breathed it all in. I was sort of obsessed. During this, she was publicizing her limited edition M.E x Reebok debut and was releasing it the next day. Her reebok collaboration would always go sold out within seconds, and NO restocks. So, on impulse, i fixated on the Ventilators. 

Them being in hands. I can feel the weight of the whole process of designing this shoe with full integrity and expressiveness....the snakeskin texture, inventive camo print, colours used..just everything. So impressed...Undeniably. This is beyond love.

Thanks for popping by! xx

February 16, 2015

Featured Feed: Jaja Soffi the lil' boss of StreetFashionKL

When i opened my email, my jaw literally fell to the floor. Anyone skeptical that beauty and brains can coexist in the same being should meet Jaja. She speaks charming and charismatic words. I thought she'd reply 3-4 lines only but this is how enthusiastic she is! So passionate! I love it! Love supporting a brand with inspiring, strong and influential people behind it. Reading this made me realize that SFKL's beacon of inspiration is what surrounds them and most importantly woman. The clothes are never as important as the person. This empowerment is whats most important to SFKL and this is something we must too, realize and practice. The woman (us) comes first, only then the clothes that makes you feel great. Enjoy reading! 

What is a day at SFKL Bootik like?

Proper chaos, usually. We would usually be playing a lot of rap and hip-hop in the office. We love our bits of pop culture gossip so there's usually a threeway or fourway conversation about who we think Drake or Jennifer Anniston should end up with, marry and have kids with. Y'know, just regular stuff like that to kick off the morning to a soundtrack of Tupac. Haha, but honestly, a day at the SFKL Bootik is generally fun. We celebrate every time we make sales and we're constantly helping each other out so each and every department in our company performs and runs smoothly, including the Bootik itself where customers come in and sit. We love having a chat with them and just helping them out style wise. It's a thing we love to do and we wouldn't even call it customer service, more like just getting to know a person and learning what they like and dislike before helping them pimp their wardrobes. We adopt this casual bootik method where anyone can just drop by, have a cuppa and shop. We also have our own in-house studio where we shoot our products so shoot days are loud with more gangster rap and tons of styling! We are basically a small, chatty all-girl team and we try our very best to make a day at work fun, exciting and creative. We bounce off each other's energy a lot! 

SFKL to me, is bold and fearless. Being in a very competitive fashion industry. How does SFKL stand out apart from others?

We would definitely like to think of ourselves as bold and fearless. And we're not only in the fashion industry because the more technical part of us is actually in the e-commerce industry which is situated on the World Wide Web from running a website. And the World Wide Web is infinitely massive.

Locally speaking, we do have strong local competitors and we stand apart from them because we are indulgently just us most of the time. The brand in essence started from our CEO and founder's personal style, Sazzy Falak. The clothes we curate are pieces we love and would wear ourselves. It's personal, and the market loves getting personal in a market that's catering to the masses. We have always had a personal style and we grew and stuck with it at the same time -- of course, evolving with the trends and the market. However, the best part of all this in the end is when we have walk-in sales at our bootik. The process of a customer coming in, picking up things they love and rocking it all to their own style is the most satisfying thing any fashion seller and designer can have at the end of the day. It's just great to see how all these people -- young or matured, hijab or non-hijab, every body shope -- rocking things all to their own style.

Coming back to my point as to what sets SFKL apart in the scene is that we're just here to help everyone and anyone express themselves through style. We're not just selling, we want to make women feel empowered through their clothing. And the first step to radical self-love and empowerment is through style -- especially in Malaysia where most women are afraid of looking too 'out there'. Most Malaysian women prefer to blend in fear of being 'judged' and it's something that we think slows down Malaysia and KL's growth as a fashion capital. We hope to inspire more women to just wear whatever makes them happy. We think there's a gap in the market for that sort of encouragement, so we really do hope we're helping to fill in the gap in the local market.

I love how the clothes are presented at the bootik, especially your colour palette and how you mix fresh & cool with traditional. Where do you go/look for inspiration?

Why, thank you. We're glad you like it. For inspiration, honestly, we can't deny we look into the current trends but there's a big difference between wearing something straight off the runway and just taking a beautiful piece and make it completely your own, with your own style twist. Our inspiration is also who is out there, Malaysian women. That also includes ourselves. We curate to our taste collectively, but also by keeping in mind other women. Age, body, career, religious compliances. So put runway trends, street style trends and women together, we have our tagline which is 'For All Things Contagiously Beautiful'. We say 'contagious' because that's what trends are. They're contagious, and we'd like to pass that on so everyone can be current and beautiful at the same time. The brand was born with the idea of just making the streets your runway, by doing so you have no idea how one flawless outfit can inspire another woman who walks past you to step out of her fashion comfort zone. Our inspiration basically comes from this cycling ecosystem of the runway, the street and the women who dares (henceforth our very special rack of neon pieces).

SFKL walked the runway in KL Fashion Week 2014. Having that ticked off the list. What SFKL'S next big move?

We actually have two brands under us that was born from one. We first started off with 'Street Fashion by Sazzy Falak' back in late 2012, a year later we divided the brand into two. One is called Street Fashion KL -- our afforadable, more high street boutique brand which also holds other brands -- and the other is SF by Sazzy Falak -- which is the high end designer label. The one that did walk the runway for KLFW 2014 was SF by Sazzy Falak, which was an honour!

For SFKL, our next big move is definitely getting the word out there about our brand and going brick-and-mortar. We're looking into department stores as well as our own flagship stores in a defining area. Also, the bigger thing for us is to actually start designing for SFKL rather than just curating. We'd love to further push our personal touch into the clothing by producing them ourselves. It'll definitely be more satisfying to match fresh & cool with traditional when they're directly from us. And of course, to further strengthen our website's service and presence in the e-commerce world.

As for SF by Sazzy Falak, we'd like to further push the boundaries of the brand stylewise. The designer herself is ever evolving with her own style yet she remains true to her love for bohemia meet rock 'n' roll meet our Asian heritage. Since the start, she has always loved giving traditional prints modern silhouettes. Prints and texture fabric wise are things she's always keen on pushing and experimenting with. Again, getting the brand into our own brick-and-mortar and even presented on international runways. I guess the biggest one for the brand is that we're gearing up for KLFW 2015. Woohoo!

If SFKL could collaborate with any brands, who would it be?

We're really keen on working with local brands. One of them in the works is with a brand currently housed under SFKL called Ash Burn D. Ash Majid designs and handmakes accessories from batik. Her current range are the Batiq Chokers which are these amazingly unique, one-of-a-kind handmade necklaces. It's traditional, fresh and unique henceforth our longstanding love for the designer and her brand. We're working on collaborating with her in making a range of necklaces that's both SFKL and Ash Burn D. 

Another collaboration we'd love to further go forth with is Sometime Bags. They're an independent brand that designs quality and affordable bags. We have already collaborated with them with the bags Teja and Lela, inspired by our chief designer and CEO, Sazzy. We're definitely looking into extending the line in the near future. 

Anything else you would like to add?

Nothing much other than a million thanks and kisses for giving us the opportunity and of course, you being you. We love your style and your passion in not letting anyone diminish it. We hope others reading this is inspired to be their stylist selves fearlessly. Cheers!

January 30, 2015

My first video!

Took me a week to find the courage to show the world!
I needed to overcome something. I needed to start from somewhere. To do something, you need to START. it cant be perfect at the first try. but no doubt, you'll get better and better. Talking to a camera is hard. But i really wanted to try it, just to boost abit of confidence and have some fuuun! Also, some things are just easier to show on video! Anyway, how does @Faafirds do it so flawlessly!?

So this is a video of short reviews on some brands and why i decided to buy them. What drew me to buy them. Watching videos like this has certainly helped me in deciding to buy something or not, hope it helps you! 

I go by this philosophy that if i liked something and i am patient enough,
 if it goes on sale and it is still available, its meant to be. haha.

Before i filmed this, i went for a make up class, hence the full make up face. Also, i had to cut alot on the shoe part because the video was getting too long to a point that it might bore you!

So i cordially invite you to watch my mistakes, me mumbling my words, yada yada yada....

#guysdontwatchit #nokidding #noactuallywatchit

Next video will be a BEGINNERS make up tutorial done by a beginner. (me! whoooolllyyy beginner,beginner)  had some of my friends requesting this! Going to share tips i learned from mac! OR like a favourites video or something. Whatever that floats the boat!

Toodles! tell me whatcha think! Im going to go search for a cave now..............................


January 28, 2015

SS15 MOOD BOARD & my take on Miu Miu, Rochas, Bimba y Lola and more.

Photos taken from google

Miu Miu
Apart from immensely adoring Miuccia Prada, because she has phd in social sciences and her balance of elegance with the unusual, i cant express enough how much i love Miumiu! Miumiu should be an actual verb because its a recognizable signature style. I could walk around KLCC, and spot someone and be like, that's so miumiu. Not necessarily meaning theyre wearing miumiu. SS15 i must say, did tone down a little, less funkier but still having a slight fizz. This was actually based on a dramatic tension look. I do feel the tension, like a hardworking woman, worn out, but maintaining composure. Like a form of a 18th century lady - the floral pattern, big buckles, housecoat silhouette, living in the 20th century.

Bottega Venetta
I am not fond of this brand, to dull for me and i dont get the bags. But they do take pride in their name. This was the first ever piece i actually felt an attraction towards Bottega Venetta. Its like a murky yellow paired with a dusky glittery vest (or whatever you call it). With that crisp oversized top contrasted with glitter. Darn thats good stuff.

Valentino is Valentino. Never a dull moment.

Bimba y Lola
The pants. The pants. Those leather pants. Best leather pants ever invented. I might just work, earn money and invest in that. Because its worth it. The asymmetrical pattern is beyond, colour combo is on point, i mean imagine if they could go daring and used white instead of brown you'd be id rather buy ACNE STUDIO am i right or am i right? i could pair it with bright pink shoes and it'll still work or full glitter boots by YSL and it'll still work. Please be mine.

Rochas is my new profound love. Been eyeing them for a year now till i could decide whether i genuinely like them, or was it just lovestruck by one piece - their shoes. I grew admiration and i like them more than Valentino now. Different is not the word, its like problematic. You need to see the whole SS15 line to kinda understand what nonsense im saying. This is how i would describe ROCHAS: its like the problematic part of common sense. Like how sometimes common sense or facts are crazy but you are unable to say its crazy because its literally common sense. Okay like, picture an all-PERFECT-everything-romantic-ladylike person, imagine she had an itching feeling to be girly, to drink milk straight from the carton, to listen to rap instead of classical, i just feel that Rochas enhanced that itch. He's listening to that tiny little voice at the back of her head and making them into designs that will sing out loud and proud.

January 26, 2015

Hatta Dolmat Casting Call.

There was an ad on Hatta's instagram about a casting call and i missed the deadline for submission. This was because i was facing one of the most important exams of my life. It completely slipped my mind.

They shortlisted already and a day before the casting call, there was an announcement saying that they are opening to all between 4pm-6pm.

I didn't know whether to go or not go. This was something completely different. Honestly, i just, you know, what the heck, lets gain some life experience!
I did this one mistake in the past and that is, not taking the chance when theres one right in front of me. For instance, i changed schools 5 times, and during Form 4&5 i was in a new school, it was so hard to find my place in my new school, to feel belonging, in group discussions, id be the quiet one, even if i had something to say, id shut nah it wont matter they're better than me, my thoughts are dumb, I was so uncomfortable with saying something publicly. I came to realize that, im the problem, im the one giving myself such a hard time. So in form 5, i started doing things, taking chances whenever i could, if i could dance on stage, i went for it. Slam poetry? won. And i was so much happier and confident with myself.
This is what made me become pinkdurian. 

So when i saw this, i just said to myself, i might learn something from this. So at 3.45 i left the house, drove all the way to Hatta Dolmat Couture, Shah Alam. And when i parked my car, i literally felt like I DONT WANT TO DO THIS OMG SHOULD I GO BACK HOME? and when i saw other girls passing....Lagi lah insecureeeee! In the end, i found my chill.

Entering the shop, there were filled with around 40 girls! not even including the 36 shortlisted ones! Just smiled and registered etc. I was reading the benefits of being the face of HattaHijab and the terms and conditions, that was when i knew, this is not for me and also i didnt feel like wanting change to hattahijab_pinkdurian, hope they'll take hattahijab_anisah instead haha. I mean, i cant do all this! They need someone with a whole lot of experience in the industry! I really felt like i was going to make a fool out of myself haha.

But i dont want to be a quitter, there were so many confident girls around me! All i felt was, why cant i just be them, having the strong urge to atleast try, all confident & fierce, why cant i.......ACTUALLY I CAN. I CAN BE. If i prove to myself i can go through this, thats good enough for me. Just have fun! I told myself.

They interviewed 4 girls at once, 4 judges, @hattadolamt_ himself, @Veliciousvass from Instyle Mag, @didiyanaehsan Hijab Stylist & @Izaiskandar a Model. All the judges were so down to earth and humorous and very hungry at the time! All nibblin on Dominos. Which actually toned down the anxious environment, kinda felt we were all chilling for a second there.

 I decided to speak in english because i felt more comfortable. The girl beside me, she owned the interview mann, and to be standing next to her, gave me elephants in my stomach, not butterflies k. She was actually the first person they announced for TOP 12! I was so blank, so nervous, reminding myself to breathe, i didn't even mention that i was blogger. I kinda mumbled alot.

They asked: why do you want to be the face of HattaHijab?
I replied: I just want to give confidence to people, it is true that if you have beauty you have confidence, but i want to radiate confidence so that other people would feel like, they're confident without beauty and thats what is important! Yeah imagine that with x100 speed,mumbles,stutters and umm um umms.
Velicious came in a said your posture, your slouched shoulder dosent show confidence but when you speak, yes i can hear confidence.
(which is true....ill work on that)

I also told them my idol is Dina Tokio! hehe. Then we had to style a hijab in 2 minutes, i sucked at this, i suck at styling without youtube's guidance, in the end, i decided to take this bright mustard yellow that looked like its not the first thing anybody would lay their eyes on. Also, yellow is my favourite colour anyway. Because i was so bad it, let's see if HattaHijab does the job for me, cant play with style, lets play with colours.

Judges asked: Why did you take this?
I replied: hmm i don't think people will reach for this colour, maybe its too bright, but basically i want to show people that you can actually wear anything and be confident in it.

To know you did your best: Just be honest, and be yourself, even if in a nervous state, try your absolute best to say what comes to mind. Let the 100% you shine (mutters, stumbles, shakey included)
The End

I DID THE INTERVIEW. IM NOT GOING TO BE CHOSEN BUT WHATEVER I WENT THROUGH WITH ITTTT YAAAAAY! I even told my mum confidently, Ma i am absolutely sure i didnt get it, there were so many other beautiful & talented girls, but i went through it and im so proud of myself! I know whats my flaws and ill improve on them. 

Around 11pm, I was in my room, just lying down, editing my photos. Tingg! you've been tagged in a photo. Opened it up, What. WHAAAAAAAAAAAA.
This happened. My nervous face popped up. omg times a gazillion.

(follow them for recent updates!)

This was so unexpected. I ran to my mum straight to tell her the news. And after that had to sing me some taylor just to calm me a little. I am prepared to LEARN what i can, do the best within my capabilities and be true to myself, always. Thank you to all the judges, the Hatta Dolmat team and Hatta himself for giving me the opportunity, for seeing something in me. This will be an unforgettable experience for me. From the bottom of my heart, I truly appreciate it.

 In the end i thought, take every chance you get in a life, because some things only happen once.