May 26, 2017

issues and my welcome back hello.

Hello blog! HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been wanting to start writing again for quite some time. What stopped me before was my ever-busy university schedules, inner sufferings, and doubts like "other people's blog is so much more fun to read/much more helpful/like who am i to__?/my writing skills is so bland and bad", and did i mention the busy-ness of life! Ive been working on my communication skills, in-class confidence (yes its real, you do need confidence in class to ask questions and because my studio classes are so open, like everyone will see what your experimenting with on the mannequin, sometimes it can get sooo nerve-wracking!), my reading skills (I take longer to finish books nowadays and thats annoying), attempting to restyle myself (I used to use self-style to channel my creativity, it was nothing to do with fashion, clothes were merely acting as my tools, it was faster to dress than to paint, but now since i express my creativity in uni - FULLTIME, that style-box in me rusted>brokedown>died), and in general as what i like to call it getting lost in the maze of my life, really.

I always feel burdened with the fact that the content I aim to put on my blog should be thoughtfully constructed to be understood by anyone's reality whoever wherever they may be. They say "pick your target market, be so good you drive the weak out and own it", thats how it is these days, but i dont want my readers to be just one type, i really want to speak to hearts, have that sincere emotion so everybody can understand, pinkdurian is meant to be universal. Why do you think I chose the word pink?

Its really an exciting time for a woman like me (or Emy! i simply adore this woman), in my early 20's, tasting life, understanding the world at a different level. If you're not in your early twenties yet - then be prepared, if your currently in it - go get it, if this is already your past - warn me of whats yet to come.

Im writing this, because ive been thinking too much, I was on the tube the other day just staring at my reflection on the tube window and I just thought, what is it that I really want to do? Why am I so scared of restarting to write again? Whats holding me back?

I love reading other people's writing, theyre sooo good. It makes me question am I able to write at all. and due to the acceleration of the world, marketing and advertising is on its peak on social media, now we have social media content makers as a professional job! That means, more people on the internet expressing themselves through photos and captions. I became too ignorant to think I could make content any better then any creative out there because I cant even get myself to write. I also feel the world's interest in reading blogs is declining. And the world is quite loud right now, its exhilarating yet exhausting to keep up. Im scared i'll be pressurised so much it turns to hate.

Up until...this happened at 4 am

I was recently so moved by Mark Zuckerberg's commencement address at Harvard

"To keep our society moving forward, we have a generational challenge — to not only create new jobs, but create a renewed sense of purpose......But it’s not enough to have purpose yourself. You have to create a sense of purpose for others.....It’s good to be idealistic. But be prepared to be misunderstood. Anyone working on a big vision will get called crazy, even if you end up right.... JK Rowling got rejected 12 times before publishing Harry Potter. Even Beyonce had to make hundreds of songs to get Halo. The greatest successes come from having the freedom to fail. In our society, we often don’t do big things because we’re so afraid of making mistakes that we ignore all the things wrong today if we do nothing. The reality is, anything we do will have issues in the future.... But that can’t keep us from starting. Ideas don’t come out fully formed. They only become clear as you work on them.
You just have to get started."

So here I am giving this beginning thing a go. Lets give this lost girl a chance.